Dealing With Heartbreak & the Evolution of Identity

Dealing With Heartbreak. Photo Credit – Flickr: gingiberYou wake up, and for less than 10 seconds you might feel okay.

Then it hits you again.

The heartbreaking feeling you got to avoid while you slept comes rushing back to your consciousness.

Bracing yourself for the stinging sensation that will inevitably flow in and out of your mind throughout the day, you get up and start your morning.

Your life carries on even when you have a broken heart, so how does that wounded state influence the evolution of your identity from that point forward?

Dealing with heartbreak may seem like a limited process. You feel like shit until you don’t, and—at some point—the heartbreak that left you devastated will be laughable. You wait it out until the pain goes away because eventually it will. Simple.

But the lasting impact of heartbreak shapes your judgments, outlook, attitude, behavior, and decisions. It’s not just about being upset. Heartbreak is an event that challenges your sense of self and shakes up everything you thought you knew.

In one way or another, you’re not the same person you were before.

At first, when heartbreak strikes, you naturally become narrow-minded. Your focus is on you and your pain. You’re hurt. Circumstances have not played out in a way that makes you happy and hopeful about the future. You can’t see past anything immediate, and you’ve lost perspective.

As time goes on and the pain fades, you may not realize heartbreak’s impact on your life.

Your heartbreak truly surfaces when you don’t feel bad anymore. You operate without a sharp awareness of your injured infrastructure, but the damage is still there.

What do you do differently now? Do you do nothing differently? Do you repeat mistakes? Are you more careful or cautious with your emotional investments? How does your emotional detachment or elevated cynicism affect others in your life? How does heartbreak affect you?

You can either use heartbreak to your advantage or let it demolish your potential.

How to Overcome HeartbreakStefanie Flaxman is the creator of @RevisionFairy and author of a new book about heartbreak.

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